You likely heard from multiple sources that it takes about one year to move on. In my mind, I was breaking it down to 365 days, 52 weeks, or 12 months. That isn't that long correct? It is when you've been knocked to your knees and have to restart your life. In my home state, I had to be separated for a minimum of 12 months before a final divorce decree could be signed.
I considered my waiting period more or less purgatory as the 12 months
was standing between finalizing the end of a bad relationship and learning to refind my lost self. With therapy, I wondered if I would be stuck or would I be able to move forward. What could I accomplish in my 12 months? Would I succeed and be a positive role model for my children?
I saw my therapist regularly, almost weekly, and those weekly visits turned into monthly, etc. I learned to again bet on myself and listen to my gut. I slowly started rebuilding my foundation brick by brick. I even traveled to visit close friends I had not seen in years. I was reawakening and listening to people say I was returning to my old self. I even attempted dating, a topic I will cover in a different blog entry 🤪. Mostly, I learned to be patient with myself as healing is a process.
Looking back on my one year and now speaking from experience, you have to give yourself the patience to heal and rediscover your Core Values which is not an easy task. My year gave me adequate time to learn that I needed to grow again as an individual. In the beginning, I felt very alone and isolated despite support from close friends and family. Undoubtedly you to will feel alone and encounter this in your journey. I can confidently tell you feeling alone is a temporary roadblock moving forward. You will be able to surpass it.
Lastly, in 365 days, I gained quite a lot of perspective on how I wanted to live my life. I am confident that if you are early in your journey and just reading this, you too will be able to look back and realize it will be ok in the end. Breath, Grieve, Cry, and Learn to Laugh Again. Finding yourself again can be a powerful and uplifting experience if you lend yourself the time to do so. The healing journey is a continuous and ongoing process. I wish you all the best!!!